Couples – married or not
‘You choose who you fall in love with.’
Relationships are what being human is all about. And sometimes we don’t feel we are very good at them, or want to explore how we are in them. Having a long, lasting, loving relationship can be a tremendous support and joy in our lives, yet the process of creating and maintaining an intimate bond with another person can be one of the most challenging. At some point most relationships are tested and ‘couples counselling’ can be useful in working through issues. Your relationship doesn’t have to be in cul-de-sac before you take the leap and seek help.
If you are reading this the chances are you are already contemplating getting help. Most couples don’t regret making this move, although they often regret not having taken the step sooner.
Whether you are having difficulty with, for example; mixed relationships with different cultural identities, or you are prone to compulsively falling in and out of love, being in conflicted relationships involving – parent, sibling, trouble in the step-family, or you have simply lost each other in the laundry of life, you can do something about it.
- lost yourself
- different cultural identities
- communication breakdown or conflict, ‘silent treatment’
- Frustrated ‘stay at home’ mum or dad, resentful, step children
- mixed relationships
- trust issues
- life changing events, bereavement
- too needy, clingy, or the reverse
- intimacy issues
There is no perfect formula for a happy relationship. Relationships can be a slow process of getting to know somebody and building a relationship, with all of its uncertainty, there is the potential to experience uncomfortable feelings that can create barriers for intimacy, or conflict that show up in rows, against this background it is difficult to build healthy intimacy. Healthy intimacy is when you allow people to know you at a level that suits the relationship, without feeling you have lost yourself or betrayed your values as a result of letting someone be close.
My aim is to help you to represent yourself truthfully with dignity and respect and to afford the same opportunity to your partner by listening with an open mind.
At Private Counselling Nottingham, couples’s counselling can be enormously helpful to re-open dialogue where there is conflict, hurt and confusion, even if it is another perspective that can allow you both to discuss matters in a new way.
Whether you decide to stay together or to break up, my intent is to help you both to improve your communication of each others past hurts and present position, and work towards creating a realistic and positive attitude towards each other, to support yourself in good self esteem so that whatever decision you make about your future desires, you do it with grace and understanding so that you can live with it.
Couples Counselling work entails meeting with you as a couple to discuss the details of the problem from each of your perspectives, explore the ‘deal breakers’ in your relationship, the levels of respect and communication, and then work together on your issues as a couple. Once you have been supported to communicate more effectively and with better self esteem you will find that these issues can often be more easily and calmly resolved.
This may also mean working on some of your issues in a number of individual sessions without your partner, sometimes exploring how you treat and feel about yourself, having a better relationship with yourself will set you up in having a more satisfying relationship with someone else. Both parties don’t always have to attend for therapy to work as it only takes one person to change the dance, but it does help.
Sometimes you can be perfectly focussed on your wedding and lose sight of the reasons why you are getting married. If you are having doubts, unnecessary rows, or curious to check and explore your compatibility you will be well invested by preventing greater problems developing by gaining better insight and understanding of yourself, each other, or simply finding closure on a particular event.
At Private Counselling Nottingham, I will thoroughly assess you to see if you would benefit from therapy. Talking therapy provides you with the opportunity on ‘neutral’ ground and confidential space, to be supported to openly discuss upsets or erase any doubts before you consent to a lifelong commitment. Its never too late.
I am happy to discuss whether couples therapy is the right choice for you.
All points of contact is confidential.
PRIVATE COUNSELLING NOTTINGHAM
“There comes a time when you have to sit back and listen, even if I didn’t like what you were showing me. This was a turning point for me in learning about boundaries. I firmly believe now I am now best placed to support my own wellbeing. Some weeks are better than others, however I no longer go to pieces. When my husband told me he respected me after a very tough boundary setting, I knew that all the work we’ve done together was paying off and for this I am truly grateful.” P.W
I see clients at the following times:
Monday - Thursday 1pm - 8pm
Please call for available times and dates, availability can vary at short notice.
All calls and messages are confidential. I take referrals from businesses - employee assistance programmes (EAP), GP’s and solicitors.
Telephone: 07555 298 298
Safe, light and peaceful... breathing space, where you can show up as you are.
Private Counselling and Psychotherapy in Nottingham For Women and Men of all Ages