...grief is a natural response to loss.
Losing a loved one and coping with grief can be devastating in these challenging times and can be deeply distressing struggling to cope.
It might be the loss of a loved one, relationship, pregnancy, pet, job or way of life. Other experiences maybe due to children leaving home and separation from family and friends. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief is likely to be. Grief is very personal to us, and sometimes, we find ourselves alone with our grief, people don’t understand, haven’t experienced losing a loved one and can’t understand loss, leaving us feeling unable to share how we feel.
There is no right or wrong way to approach grief. Grief has no set pattern, everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. This is perfectly normal. We might suffer all kinds of difficult and at times overwhelming emotions, that we might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to grief.
Grief can leave us feeling sad, angry, anxious, shocked, regretful, received, overwhelmed, isolated, irritable or numb. Many of these reactions are not constant but instead can come in waves, often triggered by memories or anniversaries. When we suffer bereavement, the first few days after a loss are particularly intense emotionally and many people say that they function on ‘auto’ for a while just to get through.
Grief is exhausting and can effect every part of our lives, our emotions, thoughts, behaviour, beliefs and physical and mental health, our sense of self and identity and our relationships with others. Loss can leave us unable to concentrate or make decisions, forget and sometimes causing us to worry that we will never feel better. It can also cause difficulty with our sleeping and physical health, and it is not unusual to also question our faith and beliefs at this time as we search for answers and meaning following the loss.
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Some common symptoms are:
- feelings – numbness, relief, shame
- struggling to sleep, loss of appetite
- loneliness – fear, emptiness, abandoned, devastation
- old unresolved issues, painful memories
- significant decision-making – practical issues, new responsibilities
- coping with anger, resentment, regrets
- other peoples reactions – judgements, dismissive, misunderstandings, hurtful
- family secrets – blame
Everyone grieves differently, there are cultural and circumstantial factors that affect how people express and cope with it. Some people may grieve for weeks, months, while others my describe their grief lasting years. Grief is something that takes time to work through, While everybody finds their own way to grieve its helps to have the support of friends and family to talk to about our loss. Sometimes the loss can bring up some unresolved issues from the past, or painful memories, and we feel too vulnerable and unwilling to talk about our feelings, with the benefit of the support of a professional who’s feelings you don’t have to consider, that has no agenda can be helpful.
Private Counselling Nottingham, welcomes any age, race, gender, religious background or ethnicity where you can privately talk openly about the loss of a loved one whilst preserving your pride, dignity and self respect, at a pace you feels comfortable with no pressure or judgement.
I will support you each step of the way, through the process of your loss. Grief often involves a progression different emotions and reactions with no set itinerary that can trigger many old memories, and bring to the surface some unresolved situations. You will be supported through this distressing time, as you naturally come to terms with them no longer being here. My role is to listen and help you to make sense of a world that’s turned upside down, and feels empty and meaningless and begin the process of healing.
Counselling and psychotherapy can help you work through your suffering and learn coping mechanisms to help you create new experiences and habits that work around the loss of your loved one. The sadness that you feel after your loss may never go away completely, but it won’t remain the focus of your thinking time. In time, you can slowly begin to experience a greater sense of hope, focussing more on the future, and learning to live with your loss and heal with your dignity and pride unbroken, at your own pace.