Therapy for Men
…what’s holding you back?
If you are struggling to understand what is difficult or feeling scared, confused, or you have a clear sense of what hurts, you’re in the right place, talking helps!
Whether you’re struggling with fatherhood, brotherhood, manhood, relationships, family, work, or you’re going through an important transition in your life, change can be challenging, if you’re trying to answer questions of meaning, purpose and identity, or find you’re putting up a front, feeling a failure, stuck, lost or frustrated ‘not feeling good enough’, its time to talk!
“ …Looking back, therapy was not what I thought it was going to be. Thank you for being so easy to talk too, respectful and giving me the space to work things out. It was the best thing I ever did for me. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Thank you Rae” – Tim (Officer)
At Private Counselling Nottingham we welcome men, you don’t have to be in a crisis to seek support or have to figure things out on our own!
Talking things through with someone that will listen to everything you have to say and offer an independent non-judgemental perspective to help you find your own solutions, can be a massive sense of relief. The aim is to help you to look out for yourself, similar to looking after a car in need of regular maintenance/safety checks ensures you stay in the ‘drivers seat’ of your life and stay healthy. Bottom line is you take care of looking after your physical health, its important to know when its time to book in for a service with your mental health too.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain = Win Win!
To understand the difference of how we tick, it helps to acknowledge our background. Many of us carry deep wounds from our childhood, from a young age, you were told; “boys don’t cry”, expected to “man up”, “take it like a man” not acknowledge our emotions, so we struggle with finding the language to express how we feel and overtime we internalise the idea that being ‘a man’ means we sort out problems without talking about them, or involving outsiders.
“ …I was broken from the end of my relationship but with Rae’s support I realised that the real me underneath that macho bravado was a nice lad who got lost in adulthood, my life has totally changed, in every way, now I’m playing my own tune. Rae tells it like it is, she’ll get you right. Respect!” – Matt (musician)
When we’re ‘in trouble’ we tend to suppress or mask our feelings of inadequacy at home or work. Sometimes we bypass our feelings to feel better and turn to; gambling, alcohol, drugs, gaming, pornography, this can become another barrier, the problem persists, creating a vicious cycle of continually feeling low and bad about ourselves.
Bad things can happen to men too
- relationship issues – trust, commitment, dad, sibling rivalry
- struggling to make decisions
- feeling – not strong enough – fear, shame
- lack of dad – adequate role models
- loneliness – working remotely
- stress – tremendous pressure to provide financially for the family
- Intimacy – difficulty expressing your feelings and connection
- anger issues – work, home, road rage
- Loss – grief of a parent, baby
One of the above is enough of a reason to seek professional support.
HELP CAN PROVIDE A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Take a positive step today and contact – we can work together from there.
Anger
Knowing how to get angry in a healthy way is vital so that anger becomes an asset not a problem
Anger is a perfectly normal healthy emotion. One of the challenges with anger are the consequences, anger often covers over the root cause of the problem. Everybody has different triggers, if left unchecked, anger can make you react negatively.
“ …Sometimes, the hurt is very real. In my life, the biggest pain has been love. Men don’t love easily, letting the guard down is hard, but when we do? We dive all in and in many cases without understanding the rules (who teaches us?) so we learn by error. Working with Rae has given me the confidence to know Ill never experience this again, I learned so much about myself…” – Mike (sales)
There are many reasons you may have trouble managing your anger. Whatever the reason, the next step is moving forward to work on ways to understand what triggers your anger and how to manage it and stay in control.
Having problems being stuck in anger can increase our risk for developing anxiety, depression, eating problems, addictions, suicidal thoughts. If you find that your anger is costing you far too much in relation to your family, work or health – not only for you but also your mates and family.
Take a positive step today and contact – we can work together from there.
Male Depression
…depression won’t get better by itself
Male Depression is more difficult to diagnose because most men don’t complain about the typical symptoms, and as a result, you are less likely to acknowledge distress and more inclined to suffer in silence.
Keeping silent is worse! Overtime this can spiral out of control and become problematic. If left untreated depression can spiral out of control and lead to difficulties at home and work.
“ …Thank you for the incredible sessions, they have kept me afloat for the last year. Ive now moved on and had a traditional marriage to an old friend and our relationship is just amazing. We live together and will soon be blessed with a set of twins. As for my daughter, I see her regularly and know how to manage the hostile relationship with her mother. Had it not been for the sessions I’d had with you I’d still be going round in circles, so for that I thank you so much. God bless you, I hope more will benefit from your services.” – Mr.C.
- Physical: – backache, frequent headaches, feeling tired, or losing weight.
- Feelings: Mistaking irritability or anger for feeling low or sad, loneliness, sensitivity to criticism, unable to concentrate, loss of humour, to road rage/short tempered
- Loss of interest: contact with mates, sport, sex, work, going out, or past times.
- Reckless behaviour: Risky behaviour, pursuing dangerous sports, driving recklessly, or engaging in unsafe sex, drinking too much..
I know its hard to have a conversation about it, but keeping silent is worse
At Private Counselling Nottingham you don’t have to try to figure things out on your own!
The good news is there are actions you can take to combat depression. It can be a relief to get things off your chest, knowing you will be fully supported with someone who is trained and experienced in working with depression, in a safe and accepting space for you to think out loud and express yourself at your own pace, without being judged.
Counselling is well invested for getting your feet back on the ground.
Take a positive step today and contact – we can work together from there.
